A Ring Around My Cold, Dead Heart

A ring around my dead heart
Bring the rain to wash the pain, erase the fear, draw rainbows near,

I sit alone among the crowd, next to friends, alone again.

Breaking heart that lies to me, chase away, I’m not happy.

Lonely world will swallow me, I fade away, I’ve lost the day.

Upon my face I wear a smile, I’m in denial, my lungs hold bile.

In side my heart the river burns, the fire’s cold, i’m lost, i’m sold.

Again I fight another day, nothing to hope, no words to say.

Until my love will live again, I die inside, I cry and hide.

A ring of ice has oust my fire, left no desire, I feel so tired,

Demons dance around my heart, cold fire starts, I fall apart.

Roses weep as I die, silently cry, loosing my life.

Ring around the lifeless heart, cold fire burned me down.

Unrequited Love

I control my lungs,
But you can change my breathing.
My heart works on its own,
But you can speed its beating.
My lips have many uses,
Kissing yours is just a plus.
I’ve laid mine eyes on finer things,
Still you're the one i’m dreaming of.
In good and bad I've risked my heart,
Often offered love that's true.
I’ve been in love a dozen times,
And now's my time for lovin’ you.
I’ve shed my tears, I’ve shown my smile,
Been through my share of ups and downs.
And still I’ve never loved this way,
Until the day you came around.
I don’t expect your heart to match,
My love in time or depth.
I know you don’t feel me deep,
My name won’t grace your dying breath.
Instead, i wish for you to know,
That when it comes down to it.
You've earned the right to hold my heart,
I hope you don’t abuse it.

What do I see

When I look around me,
What do i see?
I see joy, and pain.
Confidance, low self-esteem.
I see struggles and success.
I see everything.
When I look around me I see all of life,
I see even death.
I see how the earth breaths,
How she cries,
Even how she bleeds.
I see children at play,
Adults at work.
Glutany, starvation,
Joy and rage.
I see the complication of life and death
And then I look at me.
Why do I feel empty.
Forgotten and alone.
Pathetic, worthless,
Endless nothingness.
A being who will never have a place.
Why do I fight to be seen,
Scream to be heard
Why do I continue to try
When nothing is for me
But the bleak empty void.
The shell that I am.
A husk of a person.
Im I  really alive?
It seems like a crule joke.
How could I be living
When I know myself to be
Insignificant.
So you ask me,
What do I see
When I look at me?
I see nothing.
I am nothing.

If I should have a daughter by Sarah Kay

This is a poem my best friend showed me a few years ago... I absolutely love it. The author's name is Sarah Kay and her poem was featured on TED Talks on March 21 2011. I found the video on YouTube, so I will include that link here:

https://youtu.be/0snNB1yS3IE

Maybe I Should Scream

Maybe I should scream,
Maybe I should yell,
Maybe I should run away,
Save me from my hell,
Maybe I should dance,
Maybe I should sing,
Maybe I should try some more,
To block the memory,
Maybe I should stop,
Maybe I should bleed,
Maybe I should fight against,
The demons haunting me,
Maybe I am blind,
Maybe I’m too kind,
Maybe I’m so dumb,
To let him walk on me,
Maybe its to late,
Maybe life is fake,
Maybe there’s no happyever after,
Not for me.

My Little Box

I have a box.
It isn't very big.
But it holds so very much.
You cannot see my box.
It isn't something you can touch.
But if you ear my love.
You'll find a piece of yourself there.
In my little box.

My box is with me everywhere.
It never leaves my side.
I'm collecting all sorts of things.
Treasures of my memories.
And every night I peak in side.
I love to see the wonders of
My tiny little box.

The world could fit inside my box,
If I'd make time to see it all.
But I'm afraid my love of home,
Might make that a little difficult.
Still there are different places I can go,
When I look inside my little box.

It isn't very wide or deep,
It has no shape or size.
I mostly have it in my dreams,
It contains everything I love.
It has a compartment
One just for fantasy.
My vocabulary hides away,
In this little box of mine.

It doesn't have a key or lock,
It hasn't ever closed
It holds my curiosity
And I think it has my nose.
My inner child took it one day,
And placed it in my little box.

You might be wondering where it is,
This lovely little box of mine.
I keep it snuggly fitted in,
The far back corner of my mind.
My tiny little memory box.

For She Who Was My Friend

You look me in the eye,
Stare me dead in the face.
I watch as you force your eyes,
To see right  through me,
As if I am not here.
As though I don't exist.
So I ask you, was I not your friend?
Once upon a time we would chat,
Gossip about boys,
Drink and laugh together.
Now I bide my time when I see you,
Begging for the day to be done
So I can go home and drink away
The awkward silence.
Alone.
I know I'm not aloud to miss you,
I know why you blame me.
But I'll still ask her about you.
Have her play my role for now.
'Cause I'm not the bitch
He tells you I'm being.
I'm not just a pathetic piece of shit.
But I  know you have to defend him.
Even when you know he's being a prick.
So for now, I'll keep my distance.
Care for you from a far.
Every night I will be praying
That God gives you the strength,
That you may open your eyes
And see that you are everything in HIM,
You are all that you are,
Beauty and sass, confident and good.
And you deserve much better,
Than the one who's bringing you down.
I pray you'll find your wings,
And fly to your throne.
Because hunni, your a queen.
He doesn't treat you right.
You deserve someone much better.
I hope you see that soon.
I hope you find a good man
Someone will reach for the stars,
Just to show you the light.
Because hunni, you can shine.
So for now I'll take a bow.
Take my place among the shadows.
I be hiding in the wings.
Show you the clues.
I'll wear the mask of our friend.
And I'll take on your burden.
Do you feel lighter now?
I'll gladly bear the weight,
If it helps you off the ground.

I'm Just Me

People always say
I sound just like mom
When I answer the phone.
People seem to think
I look like the dad
I met at 14.
My mother always says
I act like my grandma,
Calls me her mini.
People don't think
I act my age
Say I'm too grown-up or in mature.
People say I'm strange,
That I don't act my race
Call me white washed.
I have always wondered
Why does it all matter,
What I am and what I'm not.
All my life I've tried to show them,
Seems I say it everyday,
I'm not "like" anybody else.
I'm just me.
No I don't climb like my sister,
I'm not hard like my mom,
I'm not into computers like my dad,
And I'm not small like my gram,
I'm just me.
I don't know cars like my grandpa,
I'm not curvy like my friend,
I'm don't speak Spanish like my coworkers,
I can't dance like the girls on tv.
I'm just me.
My view of others is high,
My self-esteem is low
I am a good and loyal friend,
Because that's just me.
I quote movies
Sing songs out of key
I'm obsessed with different stories,
Because that's just me.
I'm inappropriate, obnoxious
Family oriented, and giving,
And I still believe in love,
Because that's just me.
Of all the things I am
And all the things I'm not,
I'll never be anyone else
Because i can only be me.

Tick Tock Says the Clock

Tick tock, says the clock
The clock is wearing me down.
Tick tock, says the clock
The hands spin, my mind races.
Tick tock, says the clock
Papers and assignments
Research, blogger, articles
Read, read, read,
Tick tock, says the clock
Another hour gone
Tick tock, says the clock
Time is driving the day.
Tick tock, says the clock
I'm driving now.
Fast to pass, always rush
Zoom, zoom,zoom
Tick tock, says the clock
Downtime doesn't exist
Tick tock, says the clock
Shower change and off again.
Tick tock, Tick tock
Thank your for calling, what can we make you?
Medium, rare, well? What sides?
Sizzle. sizzle, sizzle
Tick tock, says the clock,
Count the money, make it right.
Tick tock, says the clock
Don't slow down, stay on your grind,
Tick tock, says the clock
Its closing time
Clean, stock, count
Home, home, home
Tick tock, says the clock,
Kick the shoes hang the keys
Tick tock, says the clock
Outfit for tomorrow, p.j's for tonight
Tick tock, says the clock
I lay awake, tomorrow is here
Toss and turn, check the time
Zzzz, Zzzz, Zzzz
Tick tock, I'm the clock
I never sleep
Tick tock, I'm the clock
invade your dreams
Tick tock,I'm the clock
I rule your life
Tick tock, I'm the clock
I say you rise
Tick tock, says the clock
The day is new
Tick tock, says the clock
I start again
Tick tock, says the clock
It never ends
Tick tock, says the clock.

Yoda at a Farmers Market

Patiently I sit.
Watching.
Waiting.
Yawning.
Mostly I lay,
Half sleeping,
Still seeing.
Friends pass,
Unfamiliar, unimportant.
I raise my head.
Watching.
Waiting.
Yawning.
I rest my head.
Mom walks away.
I stand.
She pets a friend.
Cousin calls me.
Her talking machine in hand.
Mom comes back.
I lay down.
More friends pass.
I watch.
I wait.
Someone comes under the table.
She says hi.
Her mom calls her Leah.
My mom says I'm Yoda bob.
They laugh.
What is so funny?
I sniff the friend.
She is kind.
We say good by.
I lay down.
This day  is long.
I watch.
I wait.
A familiar friend comes.
We explore the stands as far as we can.
Restrained, I don't mind.
She leaves.
I lay down.
I watch.
I wait.
I yawn.
Something is happening!
The shade is gone.
Mom takes me to the rolling wind machine,
She calls it a car.
We are going home!
I can wait to see daddy!
I was good, daddy is pleased!!!
What a good day!!!
I pester brother,
Now I get to play!!!

Above picture was taken by yours truly. ^^

The pup is my cousins blue healer pup, his name is Yoda bob. Isn't he adorable? 

Evermore

I am evermore.
Since time,
Since day,
Since always,
I am evermore.
Ever a beauty
Ever a Beast
Ever a teacup
More than a story
More than a lesson
I am evermore.
Ever a Cinder
Ever a prince
Ever a mouse
More than a slipper
More than first sight
I am evermore.
Ever that voice
Ever his hair
Ever a dog
More than her tail
More than a shell
I am ever more.
Ever the stories
Ever the children
Ever the memories
More than the moral
More than the plot
I am evermore.
Ever a promise
Ever a kiss
Ever forever after
More than beginings
More than the ends
I am evermore.
and I have promised
Life will be music
Life will be dance
Life will be happy
For I am evermore,
And I promise all
Love and Joy
For evermore.

Aranged Marriage

She walks in grace.

With meter, timed.

Her gait is mild.

Her steps in mind.

Her purpose secret.

Her thoughts unknown.

Her destination,

Another’s home.

Dressed in white.

A vision to you.

Her father’s blessing.

Her hand to you.

She walks in grace.

To organs played.

Each step measured.

On flower paved.

The aisle walked.

To love or doom.

She walks in grace.

To say "I do"